To Do List

1. Go grocery shopping.

Problem: Living on rice, canned soup, and roommate’s forgotten leftovers. Starting to feel slightly grimy and light-headed. Pants too tight.

Goal: Eat fresh vegetables, avoid scurvy.

Solution: Overcome avoidant personality and face new life as adult who has to do things for herself. Drive to grocery store, don’t have panic attack in the cereal aisle.

2. Clean room.

Problem: Cannot find shoes or roommate’s cat.

Goal: Walk from door to bed without stepping on something.

Solution: ???

3. Work on handwriting.

Problem: Chicken scratch, often mistaken for gobbledygook.

Goal: Legibility, respect from my coworkers.

Solution: Take calligraphy lessons. Watch more period piece movies. Invoke Harry Potter.

4. Plant a vegetable garden.

Problem: See: grocery shopping problem.

Goal: Grow food in own backyard in order to avoid people, remain safely cloistered in own space.

Solution: Buy seeds and rake, get jazzed, forget about seeds and rake, make roommate do it.

5. Be less of a self-righteous asshole.

Problem: Condescending attitude, keep losing friends.

Goal: Be less of a dick. Realize that I don’t know everything.

Solution: Read more to develop empathy. Or maybe read less, because it makes me think I’m better than everyone. Or maybe read the same amount and just think before speaking.

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