Terrible Thing of the Week: Mitt Romney’s Big Fucking Mouth

Let me begin by saying: this is the first and last time I will touch anything to do with politics on this website. Why? Because politics is a clusterfuck of lies and deliberate ignorance. As far as you’re concerned, I am apolitical. This, however, is just too ridiculous to ignore.

Listen, I understand that Mitt Romney is a very wealthy man and has always been as such. His father was the Governor of Michigan, for fuck’s sake. So, I get it. He just has a different, uh, perspective on how things work.

And the world according to Mitt Romney looks a little something like this: the average person tweets what they had for breakfast on a solid gold iPhone, eats caviar for a mid-day snack, and makes $200,000-$250,000 a year.

No joke. He actually believes the average income range is $200,000-$250,000. For the record, his people have clarified that he meant household income, not individual income. Ah, that makes so much more sense.

I mean, yeah, almost 50 million people in this country currently use food stamps, and about 40% of people live paycheck-to-paycheck. But I guess the difference between Mitt and me is that he’s surrounded by financial and economic experts, so he really gets it.

God, how have I wallowed in my ignorance for all these years?

Sure, I have a college degree. And, sure, I work full-time and still have to skip the produce aisle if money’s tight, along with almost half of the working population. Big fucking deal. Over half of the working population have their heads on their shoulders. And, for the record, less than 80% of the workforce has ever experienced this whole lack-of-funds thing. That’s hardly a common experience. I guess as someone who has as useless a degree as a BA in English, I just don’t understand basic economics. (I mean, I don’t, but I do understand Google.)

On behalf of the 84% of the population that makes $100,000 a year or less, I am truly thankful, Mitt. You have opened my eyes to the true nature of things. Left or right? That’s irrelevant. What matters is that I have been living a lie. Now all I need to do is dust off the ol’ hooker boots and pull myself up by the straps.

One Comment on “Terrible Thing of the Week: Mitt Romney’s Big Fucking Mouth

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